Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize