Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
