Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
