I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
