so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
