In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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