this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
