Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
