We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
