You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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