What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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