eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Quick, to the slutcave!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
