I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
