Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
