They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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