Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
