he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
