i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
