Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
