What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
