Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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