i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize