Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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