Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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