the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
