Do you still have your period?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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