mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
