remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
