marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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