It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize