ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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