And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
