I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
