I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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