we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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