THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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