Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
