So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
