sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
