I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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