then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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