real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
