I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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