so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
