Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
