i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Randomize
