My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Randomize