i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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