Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
