How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
