I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
