i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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