....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
