Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
