that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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