it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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