She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
