Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm skeptical of all drag queens.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.

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(415): View more from California

Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS

(808): View more from Hawaii

That's me emphasizing the ridiculous

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(513): View more from Ohio

FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.

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(970): View more from Colorado

my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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(989): View more from Michigan

Let's get the cat blown out

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good

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