I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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