u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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