oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
