Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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