No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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