so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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