6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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