I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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