Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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