She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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