Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
