I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
