i barfeds in our rink
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
