I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize