So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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