Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
