Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Please, let me fuck your mom
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
