I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
