Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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