Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
