yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
