help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
