So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
